Her friends, they were weird, fucking weird. I didn’t get them, but I saw why she loved them. They were weird enough that they weren’t hipsters but not normal enough to fit in with everyone else. They were a tight group that once you were in you were in for life. I wasn’t in. We went to a party, sometime in the first month we were together, a large party, thrown by a very small group of people. It was extravagant, out of control and filled with people, with every aspect of the party being controlled by this group of 7 friends. I later found out that through various connections and manipulations, the party cost them all of $7, which was used to pay for overnight parking for their van. I remember walking up to the sliding door of a large empty warehouse, it was silent, dead silent, eerie silent. I remember thinking I knew this girl was too good to be true, she’s going to shoot me and harvest my organs in this creepy fucking murder warehouse. I remember her taking my hand as we walked in and commenting on the clamminess of my palms. I remember walking through the warehouse to the center of the room, my heart beating so loud that I thought it was going to shatter my rib cage. I remember the relief that washed over me as I slowly began to feel the floor beating louder than my heart. I remember how her eyes shone as she reached down and pulled open a hatch door and music flooded the empty space. I remember wiping my hands about 30 times to remove all the sweat so I wouldn’t slip off the ladder on my way down. Her friends were all there. Standing at a bar fashioned from old oil drums and packing crates. The craziest one, lets call her Fingers for now, was flirting with the masked bartender, shamelessly, she noticed our arrival first. She grinned wildly and bounded up to us like an over-excited deer. Is this him? Yeah, fresh meat. I stood there trying to be as cool as possible while she ran her fingers over my face and through my hair, lingering a bit too long in my cock-ular region, while all the while maintaining a sly smile on her face. He’s an attractive one, where’d you find him. Picked him up on the freeway, I’m a sucker for lost puppies. They cackled at her quip. The rest of her clan closed around me, making various introductions, sizing me up, all apart from one. Sphere didn’t say anything to me that first night. Aimed all his questions at her, making it explicitly clear that I was not worthy of a solitary breath from his lungs. Frank immediately launched into a drunken declaration of love for her, how she was his best friend and how if I hurt her he would personally make sure that I rotted with a slew of unrefined felines in an underground tunnel that no one would be able to locate. Funnily enough, I believed wholeheartedly that he could make that happen.